End of Year 2009

Counting down to Year 2010, there is 15 days more left. Looking at the figure in each month of the Calendar, think about it seriously what you've done. Worth or not worth? Gain or not gain? Learn or not learn? As for me,I don't learn and gain much. I'm always being so lazy and telling myself some excuses. End up, I did nothing at all. Ain't we should have more meaningful life? Sometimes, I do think that I'm just wasting my life as I'm 21 years old now. The others who same age with me has a really meaningful and proper life and even successful life perhaps. What I have? I have nothing. What can I say about myself? I'm always the person who has no direction to go, my future is just so vague. Regret often comes after I'm matured with the previous thought. This happened due to I don't take my future serious, don't you think so? Friends who last met me ages ago and we met up again after a year who told me that the way I talked is matured than before. But well, I do think so too but the matured level I want isn't this level. I want a higher level so I could be a better human being and even a more successful girl. Should I call myself a woman? lady? or a girl is this age? My demand is so many yet I still have a long pathway to go through. Tell you all, judge a tree by its fruit, not by its leaves. I'm walking so hard to get what I want. During the freelance time, I was being bully. But all this tough time is passed. I gain a lesson which is human being should be stay stronger and tough no matter how's people bully you but not being childish. Fight with them the right if you do not did wrong. I was so happy and release after I've tried to fight with them. So the continuous years, I do hope the 100% of my dream will come true stage by stage. I want to prove my relatives that I'm able and I don't need to rely on my family or whoever. I earn every cents with my hands and legs aunt and uncle. Don't ever talk shit to my parent that your sons and daughter are the best and showing off how many houses you own, in fact you don't own more than a house. Even a millionaire doesn't like to be showing off like what you did, they just low profile. This is so funny that you're discriminating relative's children without using your brain to think and talk behind them.